First, we need to understand that God never intended for you to always feel stressed or to carry your burdens alone. God intends for us to have enough rest. There are many ministry leaders who are both Godly and successful both in their ministries and at their homes. They take vacations and have a lot of fan and rest. It is an intentional plan, and God helps them to carry it out.
Secondly, just like God never intended for your family to take a back seat from your ministry, He never intended for your ministry to keep you away from your personal time with your family either. God also, never intended for you to live your life feeling stressed or to carry your burdens alone. YES! there is a balance and God MAKES IT POSSIBLE!
Some of us find it hard to simply breathe, struggling to just keep up with ministry and other obligations of life. Others feel too burnt out to even think about rest. We’re always in survival mode. Exhausted. It should NOT be so.
Unfortunately, in some Christian circles, the response to people burned out especially among family members is this: “It’s your fault”. “You’re not resting”. Jesus’ response to our lack of rest is shockingly opposite to these condemning voices.
Jesus invites us to rest
“Come to me all who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28
Jesus understands our humanity. Jesus Himself experienced exhaustion and loneliness. He’s tasted weariness, anxiety and stress. God’s heart for rest goes deeper than what we can do for Sabbath. True Sabbath is returning to who God created us to be. Accepted and beloved, just as we are.
Jesus doesn’t say, “Come to me who are happy, cheerful and optimistic.” It’s the opposite. He is calling those who are tied or restless, distracted, numb and discouraged. Jesus wants to give us the emotional rest of safety and peace.
Scriptures Pertaining To God’s Desire For Us To Have Time Of Rest
- “And God blessed the seventh day and declared it holy, because it was the day when He rested from all His work of creation”. ~ Genesis 2:3
- “Remember to observe the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. You have six days each week for your ordinary work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath day of rest dedicated to the Lord your God”. ~ Exodus 20:8-10
- “And He said, “My presence shall go with you, and I will give you rest”. ~Exodus 33:14
- “I lay down and slept; I awoke, for the LORD sustains me”. ~Psalm 3:5
- “In peace I will both lie down and sleep, For You alone, O LORD, make me to dwell in safety”. ~Psalm 4:8
- “He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake”. ~Psalm 23:2-3
- “Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him”. ~Psalm 37:7
- “My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken”. ~Psalm 62:1-2
- “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” ~Psalm 73:26
- “Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty”. ~Psalm 91:1
- “Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you”. ~Psalm 116:7
- “Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord guards the city, the guard keeps watch in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives sleep to his beloved”. ~Psalm 127:1-2
- “Do not let wisdom and understanding out of your sight, preserve sound judgment and discretion; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck. Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble. When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet”. ~Proverbs 3:21-24
- “The fear of the LORD leads to life, So that one may sleep satisfied, untouched by evil”. ~Proverbs 19:23
- “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint”. ~Isaiah 40:29-31
- “Thus says the LORD:”Stand by the roads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls”. ~Jeremiah 6:16
- “Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest”. ~Mark 6:31
- “So there is a special rest still waiting for the people of God. For all who have entered into God’s rest have rested from their labors, just as God did after creating the world. So let us do our best to enter that rest”. ~Hebrews 4:9-11
Andrew Linder shared 7 practical keys to balancing family, work, and ministry to help bring the needed balance between family life and ministry
1. Leverage your mornings
One of the greatest keys to successfully balancing your life and schedule most often starts at the beginning of every day. How you start your day often determines the success of the rest of it.
Some of your most productive and focused time can be found early in the mornings when both your mind and your focus has a fresh start.
2. Leave the office on time
This needs to be based on a timeframe, not based upon your to do list. There are many nights when I could easily stay and work for a couple more hours getting things done, but I have to remind myself to go back to my order of priorities – God, family, then work or ministry. I’m sure you find yourself in those same shoes often.
It’s important to remember that even if I got it all done, there will still always be more to do tomorrow. Why is it that we more quickly shortchange our family than we do our work?
How would you answer these two questions?… When’s the last time you prioritized your work at the expense of your family? When’s the last time you prioritized your family at the expense of your work? Unfortunately, for most of us, the answer to at least one of those questions is probably pretty obvious.
It’s understandable that there will be necessary and even intense seasons or times of staying late or working overtime, but if those times ever become the majority or the norm, our family is sure to notice, and they have every right to view it as a legitimate concern.
We can’t afford for the gap between what we say are our priorities, and what our family actually sees as being our priorities, to be very wide. If our work is truly that much and that pressing, here’s what I would suggest you do – steal an hour from your sleep at night by staying up an hour later or getting up and hour earlier, before making it a regular habit of daily stealing an hour or more away from your family.
3. Take a day off
If you are on a church staff and feel like you have too much to do that it’s not possible to take a day off, here are a few suggestions you may need to consider:
- Meet with your pastor and ask him for help and understanding in how to best minimize your work load.
- Find creative ways to delegate tasks that anyone can do, but that you are currently doing.
- Learn to identify and eliminate things that in the grand scheme of things are time wasters and unnecessary. (more thoughts on this in the next point)
If you have no choice about not having a day off simply because you’re serving in ministry bi-vocationally or some other situation, I would just encourage you to have a plan for that schedule not to be a long-term plan.
My family loves my day off maybe even more than I do. They would often ask me in the mornings, “Is today your day Dad?” or, “How many more days until your day off?”, because they look forward to it as much as I do, knowing that we’ll get to spend extra time together and have fun.
4. Eliminate what’s unnecessary
- What are you currently doing that could be done by someone else?
- What are you doing that you could stop doing, and it wouldn’t really negatively affect anyone or anything in your organization?
- What are you doing that you could train someone else to do and/or delegate to someone else in your ministry?
- What are you doing that anyone could do that is keeping your from succeeding at doing what only you can do?
- What kind of things is your family participating in that are just filling up space on your calendar without really contributing to your overall purpose and direction as a family?
My guess is that if you’re serious about finding balance, there are some things that you could eliminate from your life and schedule if you really wanted to.
5. Combine family and ministry when possible
Don’t ever get the mistaken idea that there is a fine and definite line between family life and ministry life. They can often be the same, killing two birds with one stone.
Obviously, ministry can’t be the only times you’re spending quality time together as a family, but it certainly should be included in those times. Learn to take some of your kids with you when running ministry errands or making visits.
Serving in ministry together as family can be one of the greatest ways to instill and transfer a passion for serving Christ in your children. Be creative as a parent in making things like visitation and serving others a fun and enjoyable experience.
Whether that means that they get to have a responsibility in those areas of service, or simply letting them know you’ll be going out for ice cream following times of family ministry, make ministry and serving the Lord together a common and memorable occurrence.
6. Protect your evenings
Evenings need to primarily be family times (keep at least 2-4 open nights a week). Follow a plan by being intentional with themes, activities, devotions, etc. You want your wife and kids to anticipate when you come home each evening, and nothing speaks this louder than when you have special things planned to do together.
7. Ask God for Help!
This should be able to go without saying, but we need to be reminded. The Bible says in James 1:5 to ask God for wisdom, and He will give it to you.
Ask the Lord to show you how to better balance your family life and ministry life. Ask some spiritual leaders in your life to help you evaluate your effectiveness in the way you work, and some ways they see that you could become even more effective. Because usually those who work with you can see ways that you can be more effective if you’ll just be willing to ask them, and then humbly and openly receive and apply what they tell you.
While I don’t know your specific situation or what burdens you carry, what I do know is this –
- God never intended for your Christian life to be an unending rat race that you can never keep up with.
- God never intended for your family to take a back seat to your ministry.
- God never intended for your ministry to keep you away from your personal time with Him.
- God never intended for you to always feel stressed or to carry your burdens alone.
Maintaining balance between ministry and family life IS POSSIBLE! nut you have to be willing to go through the uncomfortable process of developing and carrying out a plan of balance.
“Remember, there’s just one thing that every person has that’s exactly the same and it is called “TIME“. A 24 Hour Cycle. No one gets more and no one gets less. It’s all in how we choose to manage it.”
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